What if your true pathway toward your vision isn’t what you think? What if it’s really more like one of these?

Start. Stop. Start. Stop for a long time. Forget about it. Remember it. Start again. Stop again. Decide not to give up. Start here, now.

Start. Stop. Start something different. Start something else different. Start another thing. Stop. Stop. Stop. Come back to the first thing with new knowledge and experience. Start again.

Start. Keep going. Try a new angle. Keep going. Try another new angle. Keep going. Take a needed break. Do all the things that have been ignored, including self-care. Start again, refreshed.

Start. Try something. Wait. Learn new skills. Stop. Start. Do something else at the same time. Stop, but keep doing the other thing. Take a fun class. Update your vision. Start again, using your new skills.

You may notice that these cycles aren’t clear, direct, linear pathways. They’re more fluid, with twists, turns, and scenic detours. They’re gentler than the linear approaches we’ve often been taught are the only road to success.

They’re also examples of real life journeys women have taken toward fulfilling their visions. 

If you have a full life with imperfections (my hand is up! 🙋🏻‍♀️), you may need a pathway that’s fluid and flows within the fullness of your life and interests—and leads you to your next “start-again” moment. It allows space for intuition, for thriving in several areas, and for handling challenges without force.

Is it possible to move into new territory, to walk through uncertainty and bumps in the road, with gentleness and generosity toward yourself and others, and still manifest your dreams?

Yes, you can do this with purpose and power, but it will probably look different from what you thought it would.

What does it mean to do things gently, to hold them loosely, to include everything, while also being fully committed to your vision without apology? What if the difficulties and hard stops along the way are just… included?

I just went through the hardest four years of my life, and I didn’t take a direct path. A gentler pathway was needed, with rests along the way.

I’ve been working toward the same inner calling since I was 24. Over the decades, the start-stop-start-again cycle has happened many times, often with years-long gaps between steps.

And when I finally reached the active phase of launching my life-long dream of helping women become empowered to create their lives their way, it ended up taking over four years to unfold.

I was stopped countless times and received a crash course in disappointment, heartbreak, loss, crisis, and more. These experiences were mostly related to family, especially my parents, and they often unexpectedly required my full attention for weeks at a time.

From the outer world, it looked like I was prioritizing others’ needs over my own. But the responsibilities were mine to handle… so, not really. It looked like I was afraid to move forward with my dream, which I sometimes felt, but that wasn’t my reason for pausing. For those who had no way of knowing the details, it looked like I was avoiding, delaying, and distracting.

It looked like… failure. I felt discouraged, and I felt shame at times, even though I knew I was doing what was most needed.

I was stopped often. Then I started again.

A Gentler Pathway

Allowing gentleness was the balm that soothed my heart, mind, and body, and made it okay to keep starting again. It helped me find success in what looked like failure.

Gentleness was in deep acceptance of what was happening in my real life, and in letting go of what it was supposed to look like. It was never going to be linear… that’s more of a cultural myth.

Gentleness was allowing others to hold my vision for me when I couldn’t. This was my biggest surprise learning. People valued my vision and nurtured it for me. So, when I came back to it, it was still there, as true and alive as it had always been, ready for me to engage with it again. I do the same for them, and I also get to do this for my clients.

Gentleness was trusting Spirit, that there were also things happening for me—meaning for my benefit—even if I couldn’t see it yet.

Gentleness was knowing that when I got to a place to start again, I would bring all the learning, wisdom, and experience I had gained with me, and I would be starting a few steps ahead of where I’d last stopped. Nothing was lost. And I didn’t need to rush.

Knowing I would start again became a secret power I could count on.

Holding yourself and all of your life gently, lightly, generously, without giving up anything you’ve chosen and you love, isn’t failure. But going forward will probably not be linear, and most of us haven’t been told that it’s okay.

It’s okay.

 

Reflection questions:

• What are start-stop-start-again cycles that have shown up around your deepest dreams?
• What experiences looked like failure but were actually valuable turns on your path?
• Who, at any time in your life, has held your vision for you and with you?
• Where can you hold yourself gently and generously?
• What is your next “start-again” moment?