Becoming a woman in midlife with an adult child is reminding me of my experience of becoming a new mom. And if this surprising connection, which I describe below, resonates with you, it’s a valuable reference point for steps you can take to create thriving in midlife.

Here’s what the connection is and why it may be valuable for you.

My midlife experience has included…

• both positives and negatives that I didn’t anticipate.
• a realization that no description could prepare me for it.
• changes beyond what I expected.
• being different from what I imagined it would be.
• feeling vulnerable in new ways.
• feeling empowered in new ways.
• seeing women navigate it differently.
• finding lots of books, but no blueprint.
• needing to discover my way.

Interestingly, this is also how I described being a new mom… which made me curious.

As I explored the deeper connection between these two times in life, I realized that as midlife women, we already have a deep, felt-sense in our bodies of how to navigate a major life transition. And I discovered these eight keys for success in both.

As you read through these gems, I invite you to consider how each showed up for you when you were a new mom, and also how they might support your midlife experience now.

The 8 Gems:

1) Accept new priorities and change your life around them.

In midlife, some old priorities are no longer relevant. While it can take a while to discover what your new priorities are becoming, it’s important to let go of the old priorities to make space for new things to come forward.

2) Develop a new relationship with time.

In midlife, we often have more time to do things that we want to do. This can feel exciting, or, after years of taking care of other people, it can feel overwhelming. Either way, reclaiming your time as yours is an important step toward thriving.

3) Make new friends alongside the ones you already have.

You may develop new interests or re-explore old ones. It’s valuable to maintain long-established relationships, and it is also supportive to make connections and develop friendships with others who share interests you are pursuing now.

4) Learn new skills for doing new things.

One of the highlights of this time for some women is learning new things. These may be skills around an art form, yoga, a business pursuit, communication and relationships, or any number of other things. Doing new things involves new learning, and embracing this can be empowering.

5) Take on new responsibilities and grow your capacity to handle them.

As your old responsibilities fade, there may be new responsibilities that take their place. The first focus of these responsibilities can be on yourself. After years of taking care of other people, including new levels of self-nourishment in your routines is a gift that affirms you.

6) Learn to have fun in new ways, and enjoy as much as you can.

Fun is enlivening and rejuvenating, and it keeps us engaged in life. If the ways you were having fun before aren’t working for you anymore, give yourself time and effort to discover what lights you up now! It will bring new energy to everything you engage in.

7) Let go of who you were before so that you can be who you are now.

When you are no longer a full-time mom, what’s next? You can bring your valuable life experience, your intelligence, your gifts, and your interests together in new ways that are meaningful and fulfilling, giving you purpose and energy to love your life now.

8) Get help, especially from others who know what you needed.

We all can use support to help us grow, learn skills, and develop our capacities, or to do things that free us up to focus on our projects. Where could you most use help to move forward and take your next steps? Invest there in ways that feel good for you.

What will you give yourself in this season? It’s your time to thrive!

 

Reflection Questions:

I invite you to pause for a moment… connect in with your own wisdom and your experience of navigating big life changes.

• Which of these gems, if any, feel relevant today?
• What are some ways you can see yourself moving into thriving that you hadn’t considered before?
• What support do you sense would help you most?
• What next step can you take in a way that feels good for you?